One Book. One Night.
by Mauri Hansen
“Experiencing the selflessness, timelessness, effortlessness, and richness of non-ordinary states of consciousness can accelerate learning, facilitate healing, and provide measurable impact in our lives and work.”
- Stealing Fire
Consuming an entire book is a daydream for many people who can’t find the time they need to work through their stack of must-read books this year. So we decided to divide and conquer. For our One Book, One Night event we invited 17 people to each read one chapter of the book Stealing Fire by Steven Kotler and Jamie Wheal and give a synopsis of their findings to the group.
Guests were invited based on their personal experiences and knowledge that we thought were relevant to the book’s content––giving us a diverse group of experts and a mix of friends and strangers. To make everyone feel welcome, we kicked off our night by offering mugs of hot buttered rum to each attendee. An experiment conducted by the University of Colorado Boulder showed that warm drinks may make us perceive others as more warm in personality. It seemed to work, as attendees quickly introduced themselves and engaged in conversations with each other.
Make “Medium Talk” Happen
Studies show that reciprocal self-disclosure promotes liking in initial interactions, so we went around the group and asked everyone to say one thing about themselves they didn’t like. Questions like this take us out of our memorized, rote introductions and forced small-talk and into a realm of vulnerability. As Larry David said in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, we’re starting the conversation with “medium talk.”
We try to avoid the easy and often boring who, what, where questions whenever possible. Small talk is not only boring, it leaves an overwhelming chasm to cross before you reach a deep and meaningful conversation. Most people think these surface-level conversations are required social etiquette. All it takes is one person asking a medium-depth question to steer the conversation into new and interesting territories. You’re not the only person in the conversation counting down the minutes until it’s over. Give yourself and your talk-mate some relief—enter the medium zone!
After our medium-talk introduction, it was time to handout books, assign chapters and find a cozy spot to spend the next 45 minutes reading and taking notes.
Once we finished reading, we gathered in a circle to share our key points of interest from the chapter we read and spent the next hour immersed in learning. The book’s main themes are achieving peak performance, tapping into flow states of consciousness, and experiencing ecstasies. Because we’d curated the attendees, we got great insight into these topics from ultra marathon runners, Burners (Burning Man zealots), herbalists, expert meditators and academics who studied energy work. It was an enriching, personal, and educational conversation.
“...a sense of effortlessness can propel us past the limits of our normal motivation...in flow, as in most of the states we’re examining…[there are] six powerful neurotransmitters...they are all pleasure chemicals. In fact, they’re the six most pleasurable chemicals the brain can produce and these states are one of the only times we get access to many of them at once.” - Steven Kotler, Stealing Fire
To further experience the concepts in the book, we set up a virtual reality system for attendees to play with and had the HeartMath Institute’s coherence training software available as well. To be honest, we were all so engrossed in furthering our personal connections and exploring the topics from the book, the technology took a back seat.
“The One Book One Night even was a collective intellectual download I think about even months later. Unless a friend’s funeral lands on the same night, I won’t miss it again.” Christopher Henrickson, attendee
How to Replicate this Event
Pick a book on a topic you find interesting. This format probably works best for a non-fiction book that’s rich in ideas or novel concepts.
Invite 3-5 friends, co-workers, or acquaintances and ask them to each invite a few people from their networks. We’ve found this is the best way to build a cohesive group and still get to meet new people. Plus, everyone feels more comfortable attending an event surrounded by at least a few people they know. The number of chapters will guide the number of invitees.
Decide if you want to provide the books or have each attendee bring their own copy.
Provide some light drinks and food.
Provide paper and pens so the readers can write down the main points they want to share with the group.
Gather. Read. Connect!
AGENDA:
• 6:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. Arrival: receive your copy of Stealing Fire and get assigned a chapter, meet people, and get a drink for social lubrication.
• 6:30 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. Read your chapter and makes notes about what you’ll share with the group.
• 7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Each individual takes a few minutes to share stories and data from their chapter with the group.
• 8:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Each individual will pose a question they had while reading their chapter to the group for the group to discuss.
• 9:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. experience video, virtual reality, music/sound curations, and heart rate coherence to see if any of these activities mentioned in the book have an effect on your mindset. Play, discuss more, get to know people better.